Be Happy By Yourself

I have a friend who clocked 35 this year. A day after her birthday, I decided to visit her because she didn't sound too happy on her birthday. On getting to her house, music was blaring loudly in her living room:

All by myself, don’t wanna be all by myself anymore” All by myself by Celine Dion.

I knew what the matter was, but again I did not know what to say.

Deep down, nobody wants to be by themselves, nobody wants to be single at 40 with no family to come home to. It’s actually worse for my friend as her parents are late and her siblings are in the UK. So she lived alone and had few friends, workaholic to the bone…

Well, I was confused and did not know what to say. I’m not one to give advice.

We hugged and I asked her if she was happy by herself, happy in her own company. Her response: Of cos not Bee, stop asking silly questions!

There, as far as I was concerned, that was the problem. I have another former colleague who happens to be her age mate but guess what, she was living the life.

She has so many activities going on that there was no time to moon over man or lack of the right one. “At night she would remember.. My sister would say whenever I brought up the topic of how friend B enjoys live to the fullest while friend A frowns at everyone and is most times moody.

If you ask me, friend B is so much fun and she has taught me to know that your happiness is in your hands, and nobody else’s

So enjoy life to the fullest, meet new people, go out to events, make new friend most and I think importantly enjoy your solitude. I simply love it when I have me time. Time for myself and by myself only! Meditate, read, shop, take time to relax., You only live once, Live it well, single, married, divorced, separated  etc.

Choose happiness, Be happy by yourself…

Relationship with "THE ONE" !

So I decided to write about heartbreaks..

I have broken hearts and I have gotten my heart broken. You know that saying… ‘What goes around comes around. Well yeah, it’s the very truth..

So if you have broken someone’s heart and you think you can never be heartbroken, think again… trust me I am so right on this one!

I am not going to give you the regular top ten tips to deal with heartbreak as Cosmo would.

No, I am just going to share what I am certain helps always.

Let me start by saying: I remember calling my friend and crying over the phone over well…relationship issues…

His response was: Sweetheart, I’m so sorry, I really don’t know what to say but how is your relationship right now with God cos if you are cool with God, every other relationship just works out. I know it may not make sense right now but maybe you should pray.

That hit me hard…I haven’t had a good time praying at the time… How could I? Guilty conscience was still pricking me like injection needles.

I said “Ok thanks, cut the call and went on my knees

An hour later, he called back. Did I say something wrong? Did I upset you, I was only… I cut him off, Kay you are the best, thank you for making my day. At that moment, the point he made really hit me……

Was I okay after the prayer? No!  Was the hurt still there? Yes!  But guess what I felt peace…Inner Peace. Once your relationship is right with God, every other relationship would be fine, when you have a relationship outside his approval then expect the worst.

No I don’t want to sound churchy or prudish, I am just saying it as it is.

If you are Non-Christian, free thinker or Pagan, please read on (I respect your religious decisions , however I proudly announce who I believe in to whoever cares to listen.)

So you have cried, sworn, hate on yourself, hate on the person who put you through the pain. You can’t do it on your own. Pray, write, do whatever it is that would serve as an outlet for the pain (minus of course, getting back with culprit) Yes getting back, how many of u are stuck in the wrong relationship but scared to take a walk… I know quite a few… (Topic for another day)

My point: You can’t do it on your own; after you have obeyed the ten ‘ridiculous’ tips you see everywhere on how to get over heartbreak you need God to help you , to heal you. He created you, so healing in you is no big deal at all. Be still and let him have his way.

Cheers!!!

SPEAK LIFE!

It was hectic getting home; I had gotten soaked by the rain…  

I must have muttered ‘I feel like dying several times’ as the rain pelted down. I got home and stormed in very angrily ignoring even my mother’s greeting. I was furious! There was a free car at home, my dad insisted that I can drive to the island and back and I also cannot afford a driver as I am on a “cash diet “so there I was jumping BRT’s and getting soaked by the rain..

I locked my bedroom door and I had my bath with cold water ignoring the chill in my lungs.. Then I jumped atop my bed still angry, forgot to pray, and I slept just like that..

The pain woke me up! It felt like air was squeezed out of my lungs…I couldn't cry, I couldn't move

(I was going to die). I have never experienced this kind. This was different; I could smell death sniffing life out of me. Flashback scene of me storming into the house, racing to my bedroom, ignoring my mother’s voice and knock on my door, Replayed in my head thinking I was going to die like that after displaying such rude behavior to the Number one woman in my life.

How would they find me tomorrow morning, I staggered to get up. This was different; I haven’t experienced any Sickle cell crisis like this.  Acute chest syndrome wasn't like this…No it wasn't , I tried to get a pen and paper to scribble ... I’m sorry Mum, I couldn't live up to your dreams, I’m sorry I was rude tonight.  Then the familiar pain came back, it was stinging, that was when I yelled, Jesus help!

I unlocked the door and raced to my parent’s bedroom. Pray for me daddy I managed to mumble before slumping on the floor. My mum held me in her lap, I don’t want to die, mummy not now. I whispered in between the pains..

“You shall not die, you will live to declare the name of the Lord in the land of the living, say it, and open your mouth, SPEAK LIFE!  She yelled at me almost hitting me to ensure those words sink in… Somehow, they helped me downstairs to the car. I thought of the needles. I was sick of a doctor trying to find my vain, sick of drugs, hated the smell of the hospital. I spoke silently “Lord Jesus please help me, I don’t want to go through this anymore.. But u kept saying u feel like dying the voice said in my head. I clutched my mother’s hand, I speak life I yelled again as tears poured down my face…

By the time my dad drove out of the compound I was fine. He kept staring at me oddly. I kept reassuring them I was fine. We went back inside and I slept like a baby. I woke up and again I spoke life.

Death wouldn't take me because I am too weak to fight, it'll only take me because God says my time is now, come home!

Speak Life!

You are what u say!