SPEAK LIFE!

It was hectic getting home; I had gotten soaked by the rain…  

I must have muttered ‘I feel like dying several times’ as the rain pelted down. I got home and stormed in very angrily ignoring even my mother’s greeting. I was furious! There was a free car at home, my dad insisted that I can drive to the island and back and I also cannot afford a driver as I am on a “cash diet “so there I was jumping BRT’s and getting soaked by the rain..

I locked my bedroom door and I had my bath with cold water ignoring the chill in my lungs.. Then I jumped atop my bed still angry, forgot to pray, and I slept just like that..

The pain woke me up! It felt like air was squeezed out of my lungs…I couldn't cry, I couldn't move

(I was going to die). I have never experienced this kind. This was different; I could smell death sniffing life out of me. Flashback scene of me storming into the house, racing to my bedroom, ignoring my mother’s voice and knock on my door, Replayed in my head thinking I was going to die like that after displaying such rude behavior to the Number one woman in my life.

How would they find me tomorrow morning, I staggered to get up. This was different; I haven’t experienced any Sickle cell crisis like this.  Acute chest syndrome wasn't like this…No it wasn't , I tried to get a pen and paper to scribble ... I’m sorry Mum, I couldn't live up to your dreams, I’m sorry I was rude tonight.  Then the familiar pain came back, it was stinging, that was when I yelled, Jesus help!

I unlocked the door and raced to my parent’s bedroom. Pray for me daddy I managed to mumble before slumping on the floor. My mum held me in her lap, I don’t want to die, mummy not now. I whispered in between the pains..

“You shall not die, you will live to declare the name of the Lord in the land of the living, say it, and open your mouth, SPEAK LIFE!  She yelled at me almost hitting me to ensure those words sink in… Somehow, they helped me downstairs to the car. I thought of the needles. I was sick of a doctor trying to find my vain, sick of drugs, hated the smell of the hospital. I spoke silently “Lord Jesus please help me, I don’t want to go through this anymore.. But u kept saying u feel like dying the voice said in my head. I clutched my mother’s hand, I speak life I yelled again as tears poured down my face…

By the time my dad drove out of the compound I was fine. He kept staring at me oddly. I kept reassuring them I was fine. We went back inside and I slept like a baby. I woke up and again I spoke life.

Death wouldn't take me because I am too weak to fight, it'll only take me because God says my time is now, come home!

Speak Life!

You are what u say!